There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
