I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
