Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
