I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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