If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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