i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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