from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
