Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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