It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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