I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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