Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
