I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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