She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its not stalking. its research.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
