you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
