and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
