its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
