I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
