there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize