hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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