just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize