maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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