...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
