what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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