Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
