I think I am morally bankrupt
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
