so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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