I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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