No stitches, just platelets and will power
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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