Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
