Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize