Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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