Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
