She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i dont even know how to be here
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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