how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
