the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
