Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
