I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
