Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
