He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
