3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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