Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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