Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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