bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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