she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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