hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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