We're like a lot better than the average bears
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
