I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
