I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
