I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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