when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
