so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
