he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
