she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize