He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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