using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
be right there i have to get my cape
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
