Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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